Sting – Shape Of My Heart

Sting – Shape Of My Heart

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前些日子的一堂电影课上,我给学生们播放了《这个杀手不太冷》。这部电影与他们的年龄相当,已经走过了20年的旅程。影片开始之前,我特意交代他们,一定要看到字幕结束,因为我想让你们写写这部片子的音乐。黑暗中,我和他们一起分享了两个小时的熟悉画面。当玛蒂尔达种下那株绿色盆栽,镜头徐徐升起眺望向远方,那听过不知道多少遍的吉他前奏终于响起。这时,在我的意料之中,有几位女生哭出了声,想忍都忍不住。

青春的岁月啊,定格在这样的哭声中该多么地美好!因为她们感觉到了珍珠一样的日子终会像流沙般逝去,那些多愁善感和莫名忧伤也将被慢慢掩盖,成为日后矫情的泛黄镜头。而我呢,现在已成为Leon一样的大叔,淡然地再一次听起另一位大叔的声音,他在问我,我心的花色是否还一如当初,雾气朦胧、迷离难辨?我该怎样回答……

据说此歌是Sting专为这部电影量身定做的,曲调哀怨中透露着坚定,歌词的文学隐喻极强。短短四分半钟,全然倾尽了孤独杀手Leon一生的心事。是不是一个男人到了这样的年纪,就要么在沉默中爆发,要么在沉默中灭亡?“女人心、海底针”,那是笨男人才说的话,遇上聪明的男人,女人就变成了逃不出火眼金睛的白骨精。只有这首歌中所唱的男人,才是真正深沉不透的生物:他冷静、寡言、但看你时目光灼灼;他节制、沉稳、却给人感觉漫不经心;他博弈、挣扎,可从不轻言放弃;他孤独、受伤,恰是因为心中的爱太过汹涌。“I’m not a man of too many faces/The mask I wear is one”,我喜欢这句歌词,在我陷入深深的自我怀疑的时候,它总是无端地让我振奋,让我在生命这个巨大的轮盘赌局中找到最佳的下注时机,或是严严实实地将自己隐藏起来,充满希望地等待。

从男孩到男人,是一场智商的进化历程,也是脱离母体后的一次痛楚的自我重生。Leon的重生,是在他遇到小萝莉之后。简单的生活变得复杂,单调的情感增添了色彩,对于一个男人来说,这才是真正生活的开始。亲情、爱情、恋情,相聚、分离、死亡,人生波澜壮阔的大喜大悲,总是在无声无息地上演。就像在赌博中,你想要的牌总是稀缺,不想要的满手都是。成长和成熟让你猝不及防,它剥夺你别人拥有的快乐和幸福,却赠予你专属的颠沛和流离。

“我所认为最深沉的爱,莫过于分开以后,我将自己,活成了你的样子。”这句电影台词,揭示了超越苦难的秘密。Sting唱到最后,一遍又一遍地否定着:这不是我心的花色,这不是我心的花色……游戏还是要继续,结局尚未分晓,而我心的花色却日渐鲜明。否定背后是最终的肯定,他正在告诉我十多年前那个问题的答案:无论活着多么痛苦,多么不如意,但有一张牌始终攥在你的手里,它让你活成生活的样子,该放弃就放弃,该拥有就拥有,永远守护斑驳的亮光,充满神秘的坚持,那就是你心的花色。

He deals the cards as a meditation
And those he plays never suspect
He doesn’t play for the money he wins
He don’t play for respect

He deals the cards to find the answer
The sacred geometry of chance
The hidden law of a probable outcome
The numbers lead a dance

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that’s not the shape of my heart

He may play the jack of diamonds
He may lay the queen of spades
He may conceal a king in his hand
While the memory of it fades

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that’s not the shape of my heart

And if I told you that I loved you
You’d maybe think there’s something wrong
I’m not a man of too many faces
The mask I wear is one

Well, those who speak know nothin’
And find out to their cost
Like those who curse their luck in too many places
And those who fear are lost

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that’s not the shape of my heart
That’s not the shape, the shape of my heart
That’s not the shape, the shape of my heart

以泪洗面

2014.10.25.

本篇文字为“暖房”作者原创,转载或使用整体或任何部分内容,请标明出处。

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