Nirvana – Seasons In The Sun

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1998或1999年的一个中午，阳光明媚，百无聊赖。我坐在学校周边那条远近闻名的“学生街”街边石阶上，面前是一纸箱花花绿绿的打口磁带。因为是午休时间，原本嘈杂的街道显得疲惫而安静，但间或还有人好奇地过来翻翻磁带，问老板这个怎么卖。我便不得不解释：我不是老板，他回家拿带子了，你们可以先挑挑。半晌，那精瘦的汉子气喘吁吁地跑回来了，从裤子的口袋里掏出两盘磁带，得意地说：“这个要高价，一盘二十”。我心中热血上涌，却装作满不在乎，希望能让价格往贱处走。但他很罕见地死活不松口，最终不得以四十大洋成交。我的胃在紧缩，手心里却兴奋地出了汗。

我用几顿饭钱，换来了NIRVANA的第一次聆听经验：一张是暴戾的《In Utero》，另一张是被称为绝唱的《MTV Unplugged In New York 》。它们就在最为需要的时候一头撞进了我那糟糕透顶的生活当中。离群索居的生活、仓皇逃遁的初恋、迷惘苍白的未来，Kurt Cobain的歌唱成了这样阴郁生活中的一针致命的迷幻剂，被我每一个饥饿的青春细胞贪婪地吸取，至今依然停留在每一根细微的纤毛上神经质地颤动。

多年之后，我拥有了这套3CD+1DVD的《With The Lights Out》，在DVD的尽头，我“看”到了这首《Seasons in the Sun》。Chris Novoselic用拨片拨动吉他，Dave Grohl弹起了贝司，而Kurt Cobain则微驼着背，有一搭没一搭地敲鼓唱歌。一次有趣的反串，一次孩童般地翻唱。关于这首歌的创作与原唱，现在存在着两种版本的说法，但歌曲那简洁的旋律、明了的歌词所表达出来的留恋与哀伤却是共同的。人们难以知道，在Kurt漫不经心、轻微走调的演唱之下，究竟是一种怎样的情绪在缓缓的流动。他调皮地唱着la la la la ，是忘词之下的随心所欲，还是有意掩饰自己的疲惫和厌倦？

一个厌世的人 — 自从那颗子弹的短暂旅程结束之后，大多数人便一直这样误读着Kurt的自戕。似乎自杀的人都是厌世的，厌世的人都是逃避的，他们眼中的世界尽是灰暗和无望，他们心中的自己都是怯弱与病态的。可事实恰恰相反。他们的世界才是真正五彩斑斓的，充满生命力的世界，他们会为每一寸阳光的照耀而欣喜，为每一粒尘埃的浮游而神往，为每一位女孩的笑靥而发狂，为每一片落叶的凋零而惆怅，为每一段岁月的流逝而悲伤。他们透过人为的网格审视世界的真相，洞察得太真而让这虚假的现实感到不安。所以，并不是他们抛弃了自己，而是被人所不容、所抛弃。他们选择结束生活，实际上是在选择灵魂的新生活。就像面容冷峻、文字阴郁的卡夫卡，也曾写下过这样的话——“没有必要飞到太阳上去，但应该爬到地球上一块纯净的地方，只要那里有时有太阳照耀，使人得到一些温暖即可。”

四月的那一天又要来临，像孩子一样的Kurt已经在那“纯净的地方”呆了十七年，与我们都无关了。现在，你可以跟着这首歌慢慢唱着属于自己的阳光季节。当然，想更过瘾的话，还可以去KTV搜索一下Westlife的歌，说不定可以跟着他们摆动一下腰肢和臀部，因为他们把这首歌整得那个搔首弄姿呀，哎呦喂~~

goodbye my friend, it’s hard to die
when all the birds are singing in the sky
and all the flowers are everywhere
pretty girls are everywhere
“Think of me and i’ll be there.”

goodbye, papa, please pray for me
i was the black sheep of the family
“I don’t know all these words
I have bought three turds
With my BB-gun I would kill birds”
(此处Terry Jacks的原歌词如下:
“You tried to teach me right from wrong
Too much wine and too much song
I wonder how i got along”)

we had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun
but the hills that we climbed
were just seasons out of time

All our lives, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun
But the stars that we reached were just starfish on the beach.

goodbye, michelle, my little one
“I was the apple of the shining sun.
And I have loved you every week
All my tears are salty
I think that now I will start to leave”

We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun
But the hills that we climbed
Were just seasons out of time

We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun
But the stars that we reached were just starfish on the beach.

We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun
But the hills that we climbed
Were just seasons out of time

We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun
But the stars that we reached where just starfish on the beach.

以泪洗面
2011.03.21.

本篇文字为“暖房”作者原创，转载或使用整体或任何部分内容，请标明出处。